I received a call tonight from a close friend who confided in me that he is cheating on his wife. He's been married for ten years and for the past year he's been rendezvousing with an 18-year-old stripper and a 20-year-old waitress (he's in his early 30's).
I felt sick to my stomach when he told me about his cheating. He says that he doesn't feel guilty and can't really explain why. He knows it's wrong. He talked about going to the bar with friends and having cute girls hit on him, even though they know he's married (don't get me wrong, he is the only one responsible) and how this is attention he doesn't get at home. He doesn't blame his wife though because she takes care of their child and that takes all her attention and effort. He's justifying this rather easily though.
I want to scream at this friend and tell him not to screw up his marriage and family. I want to tell him that I'm jealous of that family of his and can't stand that he's out sleeping with young women behind his wife's back. But I don't feel like it's my place...for several reasons. First off, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be with one person for ten years. There is no doubt that the temptations and desires must be unbelievably strong. And I've never been in a relationship longer than 2 years, which is still way different than being married so...
Anyhow, this is weighing on me pretty heavy. This is a really close friend and I recently spent time with his family. I can't help but feel that this will end badly - and I think this friend is better than this. But I can't really relate to this situation. And I'm questioning whether it's my place to say something or not. Sometimes I think I get involved in things that I shouldn't, albeit with good intentions.
Anyhow, I'd say 70 percent of my married friends have at least one cheating partner. The sad thing is (and it scares me) is that I'm almost getting to a place where I think I'd be understanding of someone cheating on me. I wouldn't want it to happen of course but I think I'm almost coming to expect that it's the norm. How sad is that?
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3 comments:
heey, every time i read this type of story that one loves his/her partner but can't helping cheating w/ other(s)
makes me to think that maybe marriage is really not something for human.
i do respect marriage and long for a happy n good one, though i have never been one, and i want to be failthful if i have ever been married to someone, but, happy and faithful commitment seems just impossible for real.
then if we already believe it's not for real how can we convince ourselves into one for forever?
(or maybe i just find excuses not marrying, ha)
I've heard this before - about us just being mammals so monogamy doesn't necessarily fit our nature. I don't know what to think about this except that if I ask the elderly married couples in my life if they would change anything I feel fairly confident that 90% would say no. But who knows... I wonder if science will ever come up with a definitive answer for this?
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